Living Worship

 

*This is a reflection on Luke's and my participation in the Midnight Run.

 

As I sit here, alternating between my laptop and my smart phone, following a morning of serving food, care products, simple clothes, compassion and humanity to the homeless and the hungry of NYC, I am reminded of all the things I take for granted. All of the ways, that in spite of a fairly simple life, me and my little family are so blessed and so rich in comparison to a large percentage of the world’s population.

 

To prepare for this trip Luke and I had to rise at 3:30 a.m. I didn’t get a great night’s sleep. Whenever I have to get up that early I always worry about sleeping too soundly and missing my alarm going off—quite a luxury. To make sure that didn’t happen I set an actual alarm clock, as well as the alarms on both Jim’s phone and my phone. I slept for a full six hours in a warm bed near an open window, with BOTH of my children snuggled up in between us. It didn’t make for the best night’s sleep, but I got to choose what time I went to sleep, what time I got up, where I would sleep and (sort of!) who my companions would be.

 

On our way to the church we went through the McDonald’s drive thru and picked up a couple of breakfast sandwiches, a chocolate milk and a small Coke. Again—all wants, certainly not needs. Throughout the day we had nearly 10 different opportunities to eat and/or drink—with great, vast choices of what we to consume. I thought about how often it would have been possible for us to feel “overly” full--as if we had too much to eat. 

 

Other options afforded to us during the day included the choice of who would drive to NYC and who would ride with us, when and where we would stop to eat, whether or not we wanted to go sightseeing and again, when/where to go to sleep when we safely returned home (EARLY!).

 

All of those excess of riches--how spoiled we are in every day life--made me reflect on the people we had met and served. I really enjoyed the simple fellowship among them. They looked out for each other, with some taking others under their wings and walking them through the process. Some said "Make sure to take care of him. He’s “really” homeless," as if to say, "He's worse off than us so take better care of him." They did the same when a much older gentleman found his way to the line.

I was surprised by a woman with an immense knowledge of movies and actors. I had such a good time talking to her and I wondered where did she watch her movies? I never asked...I was worried it might offend her, but we did spend some time talking about female friendships. She asked me what I thought was "normal," and pondered some of the same things we all ponder from time to time.

 

I thought about the man who only wanted a tiny screwdriver to fix his glasses, which had been broken for several months. As someone who can't find my glasses if they're not on my face and who gets uncomfortable without them in the small amount of time it takes to take a shower, I couldn't imagine walking around the streets of NYC without being able to see and not having any idea when I would be able to take comfort in having my sight restored to me.

  

I loved how excited they were about getting choices—what size t-shirt did they want? Did they want ankle or tube socks? Many, many people we served commented on not being used to having choices and left with big smiles on their faces because of the simple offering of choice.

 

I thought about what a great experience it would have been if we had a basketball or soccer ball with us. Our tables were parked right in front of a fenced in basketball/wall ball court. It would have been nice for the kids that went with us and the young men we were serving to play a game of pickup.

 

And that's what I love about Trinity. It is Living Faith. It's not just wondering what would Jesus do, but doing it. That morning, even though we were not in a church anywhere, we were worshipping--on the streets of NYC.

To Luke, on Your 10th Birthday

It’s hard for me to believe that tomorrow you will be ten. In less time than you have already been here with us, you will be preparing to leave home—to step out into the world and become a man—to make a difference and live a life you love. But for now, I am thrilled that you are still my little boy who loves his "stuffies" and sleeps with them covering his bed, that every once in awhile you still sneak up into our bed and that when you are sick or scared you still want your mom. I know though, that I will barely blink and you will be headed off to college, to make your mark on the world. So, just in case I forget to tell you or we run out of time, these are some of the things I want you to know.

 

            As you enter the tween, and then teen years, choices will become more difficult. What’s right and wrong will not always be black and white, but a murkier shade of gray. You will start to realize that your parents (me!) are human, fallible and even flawed. That makes me sad, but in the end, I know that’s what will make it OK for you to make your own mistakes, accept yourself, learn from them and move on.

            Remember, as you face life’s struggles; know that God will always give you what you need. It may not be what you want. At times you may feel lower than low but, over time, you will be able to look back and see the things that were so hard for you and so hurtful to you may not even matter anymore. So remember—if it won’t matter five years (or five weeks!) from now it doesn’t matter now. If they do still matter, then that probably means you learned something from the situation. Think hard on what that is, consider what brought you to that place, apply what you learned and most important—MOVE ON!

            As you’re making your way in life, you will make mistakes, but none that are so big you can’t overcome them. A good rule of thumb is to never do something you wouldn’t want Grandma and Grandpa or your little sister to know about. If having them find out would be embarrassing, then you shouldn’t do it.

Most importantly, remember that Daddy and I will always be here for you, loving you, having your back. We are so blessed to have been chosen as your parents and so blessed for every single day and moment we get to spend with you. When you were a baby I used to sneak into your room every night after you went to sleep and watch you. When you were three I wondered if I would ever stop doing that, but I haven’t yet. You’ll never stop being my miracle.

            Know that you can do whatever you want—with determination and hard work, which you have never shied away from. Keep showing the world how amazing you are, and I will be more than happy to sit back and watch.