Faking It

No, not “it.” I’m talking about the enthusiasm we all sometimes fake when we’re playing with our kids.

Several years ago, freelance journalist Helen Kirwan-Taylor created a firestorm when she said that certain motherly duties bored her to death. And the collective mothering community let out a huge gasp. I just wasn’t sure if it was because we thought she was horrible or if it was because she actually said it out loud—the thing that has passed through most of our minds at least once or twice.

Sometimes, being a parent IS boring. Show me a mom who wouldn’t occasionally rather be shoe shopping, enjoying a glass of wine or reading a good book in *silence* rather than playing the Thomas the Tank Engine game for the 50^th time and I’ll show you a phony. The shame and the guilt that come along with those feelings aren’t necessary.

The problem only comes when feelings of boredom are your default. If you find your mind wandering with every turn around the Monopoly board, it’s probably time to examine what you aren’t getting. For me it was a lack of creative outlets and challenges--one reason for the new blog.

 For a long time my career was my priority, and was extremely fulfilling. Then, I had kids. While I would never trade the time I have with them for any amount of money or acclaim, I allowed the balance to tip too far.

 I thought to be a good mom I had to stuff my own desires and interests—that the only time it was OK for me to do something for myself was after everyone else’s needs and wants were already met. But that couldn’t last. It wasn’t healthy for anyone.

So I started small, with a running club at the local Y. I committed to just three short hours per week, and within eight weeks had finished my first 5K.

From there I started taking on additional challenges—growing my business, updating my website and reaching out to make new friends in the community of moms I have growing around me—to help me be satisfied with all aspects of my life.

It’s not always easy to acknowledge, but sometimes I have to be first. It’s those things that help me keep my sanity during the really challenging, and yes, boring times. And occasionally, when that isn’t enough, I have a glass of wine during Thomas the Tank Engine.